My Mother was a very stern disciplinarian and as a result we were well behaved children. We did not act out in public, knew better than to throw a fit in the store and tried our best to do what would keep us on her good side. Of course there was a time when I, the rebel daughter, did act out against her strict regime, yet I always knew and understood that there would be consequences and never fought them. At times I felt like I could never be the daughter she wanted me to because her expectations were so high. I now wonder if I acted out as a way to free myself from the person she wanted me to become; who was not the person I wanted of myself.
As my son enters the 'terrible twos', I find myself wondering what kind of disciplinary I want to be to my children. I know I do not want my children to fear me or feel a sense of inadequacy when it comes to my expectations but I also want then well behaved. I want my children to know how to act in front of others, to be respectful and well mannered but I also want them to live their lives with laughter in their hearts. I am determined to raise my son to be a true gentlemen; a man who knows how to respect others and himself. I am determined to raise my daughter to be kind and compassionate and understand that she deserve respect. Yet most importantly, I want my children to have a confident sense of self.
Ultimately, I believe if you respect your children they will respect you and respect is the foundation to a solid individual. As I have well passed my years of rebellion, I now have a relationship of respect with my parents. I do not find it appropriate to be dishonest with them and expect nothing but honesty in return. It took years for us to get to this place but along the way I was always been concerned with their approval and disappointment. This regard has gotten me to the place where I can have a relationship of respect with them. I am hoping as I find my inner disciplinary, that I can help my children find an easier path to respect. I hope that if I can always respect my children then they will respect me.
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